What can I say that hasn’t already been said before? Words often get in the way of what I really want to say, which is one of the reasons why I create. Words can say a lot but not everyone thinks or feels the same things and while we can get a good idea of someone else’s emotions, we really don’t know exactly how it is to think or feel like someone else. I thought about churching up everything I am going to say but then I decided I should probably stay true to myself and reflect my raw, imaginative, complex-honesty, like I do in my art. I’ve edited this paper numerous times, kind of like how I paint over my paintings multiple times. What I think in this moment may be obsolete in the next, it changes like the weather. My obsessiveness is on display for you to see because I’m trying to translate how it is to be me so that you will have a better understanding of my art.
I am someone who has been labeled as being mentally ill. People who speak their minds, and use them, are sometimes dismissed as being crazy, or something weird like that. Who knows, maybe those kinds of people have some kind of genius about them. Or, maybe they’re miniature Jesus’? How many times do you think a Jesus has disguised himself or has been reincarnated and proclaimed to the world, again, since we apparently still haven’t gotten it right, “Hey! Everyone love and respect each other!”, or whatever Jesus might say, as if the secret of the second coming is NOT a sexual innuendo, and the universe was NOT an accidental combustion of a giant cosmic flatulent cloud where the something had to eventually come from nothing, including the gases… not to mention the spark.. But, actually something that awakens inside of you that is recognizable in others as well as yourself and, when so, everything rises to some higher level of harmony and existence, when you are awoken to it. But then other people are like, “pfff… goh dang hippie”, or, “How you gonna pay for that?” I could go on, but, you know, the absurdities that are still happening in the world but have been proven by history to not work.
While I don’t like to claim mental illness, I do accept it. I like to share that, and make a point of it, hoping that it might encourage others and reassure them that they are not alone and that they can pursue anything they wish to pursue. I’ve often wondered if I am still in one of those facilities and that what I am experience now is just some kind of dream-like illusion. Anyways, art gives me a reason to live, and, through all of the madness, it is a way for me to show that there is still a sign of life inside. There’s actually quite a bit.
When you display your own personal experience, through art, you catch a glimpse of a moment of how it is to be you, displayed for others to see. Any specific piece is up for infinite interpretation and those interpretations may lead to infinite conclusions. While that last statement may be a valid point, if you do analyze artwork, all different types, you might realize that all creativity comes from somewhere. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we are all regurgitating the same source of life in our own unique ways. There is a deep sense of connection with past life’s, and past people, who were all expressing themselves creatively. Everything about you reflects a certain story, and style, that is uniquely you while also being ‘one’ with everything else. To me, that source of creativity has something to do with the reason for existence. I am expressing every aspect of life in every mark that I make, or even by just ‘being’ me, all of which is a never ending conversation. Creativity is an explanation of life and all of its magic, and mysteries, and I am in a constant state of describing what that source is.
Over the years I think that I’ve crafted a style that is significantly unique to the art world. I am primarily a mixed media artist and a lot of my work is very experimental. I really like layering, to create depth and texture, and painting over things to create an ongoing story that can be viewed numerous times and still have something new to see. I also use a lot of materials that I find relatable or interesting such as things I’ve written down, pages of books, or actual objects. I go through phases of applying materials, to writing and drawing, and also painting, but not necessarily in any specific order. I am always looking for ways to break out of my own boundaries to make something new that sets itself apart from the rest. I also like writing on the back of my paintings, almost as if it were a journal, and I call that aspect Tales from the Backside of The Canvas. There is an innate intuitive instinct (insert another intelligent cool word here) about what I do and I don’t really have to premeditate on it, it seems to be very natural. As I change, and continue making art, my style is always evolving and expanding and reinventing itself. Like all things though, my art will eventually be buried in history, and I like that because its artistic and it’s a reflection of life, in a sense that even the artwork will dissolve and fade away one day. What’s important to me is that the spark, where it all came from, will go on forever and hopefully ignite other flames along the way.